A quiet space for grief
I am Louise
I am a writer and a mother of two boys. Fred, my eldest son, died from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia in May 2020, aged 14.
This site is designed to be a place to provide comfort, support and a window into childhood illness, bereavement and grief in all its forms.
The world can make us feel that grief is something to be hidden away, and endured behind closed doors. It’s only by sharing our stories that all of us can find a better way to look after ourselves and each other.
He was born in fury and he lived in lightning. He came headlong into life. He was a giant in joy and enthusiasms. He didn’t discover the world and its people, he created them. He lived in a world shining and fresh and as uninspected as Eden on the sixth day. His mind plunged like a colt in a happy pasture, and when later the world put up fences, he plunged against the wire, and when the final stockade surrounded him, he plunged right through it and out.
John Steinbeck
Recent Posts
Band of Mothers: the true meaning of Mother’s Day
When I was a child, I loved Mother’s Day. More specifically, I loved Blue Peter and never more so than when the presenters uttered the magical words “Mums leave the room” before they unveiled this year’s craft creation. I’m actually rubbish at crafts, so my Mum would feign delight at the latest wrapping paper, matchbox…
Keep reading
World Book Day and the stories we leave behind
I always loved World Book Day, although I pretended I hated it. I bristled at the expectation and I think at one point argued that it was a construct of the patriarchy. However, I was dedicated. My rules were strict, no film characters allowed. If it was a film then the book had to have come first.
Keep reading
Getting away with it
There is a character in LA Confidential called Rolo Tomasi. One of my favourite books, a nice counterbalance to Daphne Du Maurier, it’s a brutal crime story of police and political corruption, and a triumph of the broken and flawed over the venal. It’s very much a tale for our age. Rolo Tomasi doesn’t exist.…
Keep reading
Feathers
I couldn’t find a feather, there’s never one when you need one. You can’t plan these things, or know where to look. They are not like conkers or pine cones. Feathers find you, carried on the breeze in search of a new home. People tell me that they are messages from the other side, sent…
Keep reading
Ode to earth
You are the one I have trusted my boy to, the only one now who can take care of him, the one who has always taken care of him. From the moment he tried to eat out of the plant pot, in our tiny earthless city garden, he was always in search of you. We…
Keep reading
My Poor Feet
MY POOR FEET This was written as part of the Winter Writing Sanctuary . The course consists of a ‘Daily Spark’ in which Beth reads some poetry aloud, and then a writing prompt. This day’s prompt was to stand in the garden in bare feet. The Daily Spark – new plan. I’m listening to the…
Keep reading
Anything but cancer – would you know what to look for in your child?
As a mother, I maintained a high level of alert for my children, ever watchful for signs of impending disaster. With Fred there was an extra level of peril because, like a velociraptor, he was always testing the fences looking for weak points. Like that time he got up early and made a den by…
Keep reading
Oven Gloves – Advice for the newly bereaved and those who love them
It has been one year and two months since Fred died, and it is my second #NationalBereavedParentsDay. That seems an extraordinary thing to write, but there it is. In that time, I have relied on the strength and grace of those that were bereaved before me, and have seen others follow. I have also seen…
Keep reading
Looking for a better way to get up out of bed: The Great North Run
I’m running the Great North Run. It’s 13 bloody miles! That is considerably further than I’ve ever run before and considerably further than I can run at the moment. The past few years have not been kind to my body. Actually the months of sitting in hospitals weren’t too bad – I got my steps…
Keep readingLoading…
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.
Our charity
Don't Look Down 